I was reminded to update my blog..
Sorry for not update anything about myself recently..
Feel so bad recently, having a serious bad mood..
I’ve made a lot of thinking, but in the end come out with nothing..
No pictures would display, erm.. or maybe some animation or views to show how i feel LA..
Hmm,
Don’t know where to start, Hope you people understand.. I just rojak abit lor..
Think tiok what then say what…
Okay I’ll talk about the journey to Miri.
I went to Miri, in the beginning of this month..
Yeah, I did not publicize to everyone and I did not say out in my blog also..
So who knows.
Even some of my family members do not know my journey to Miri..
At that time, I was facing a serious problem, i mean my emotionally.
I start to hate someone, dislike someone… Don’t like this don’t like that
and I just feel like my life is over…
What is the point to live in this world, since that no one really care about you.
I just hate, hatred come into my life… thought I know, I shouldn’t have hatred in me, but still I did..
Then, one day.. My aunt call me up, and ask whether I’m okay to fly over Miri to company her, coz she will be alone after my the other aunt went for traveling.. My aunt probably scare to be alone, Hahahaha…
Then, I check for my schedule to confirm there is no crash in between.. After check..
Yeah!!! I told her, I’m okay.. den she book the ticket then few days later i fly over..
In between these day, I find myself so hard to breath just when home..
Everything just seems so upright and I dislike this kind of feeling.
I don’t really discover what is actually I worry / hate about, but is just a something, a feeling that makes you feel so terrible
Aiya, i also dunno how to explain here.
I packed my clothes and of course my studies course,
It sounds funny, go there enjoy still need to study merh,,
Unfortunately I would say = yeap! coz the day after my back home..
I needa face examination the next morning…
Hiak Hiak.. Thought I really repent not to repeat ’study last minute’, but I fail this time again..
Again and again, how many times I told myself , do not study last minute…
Do Not and the Do Not and the Do Not…
Oops! i DID IT again.. hahahahaha
My mum bring me along to the terminal, while I’m going to waiting room I was totally back looking at my mum..
Don’t really dare to stare at her.. Coz, I will afraid the clouds turn dark.. SO I JUST BYE BYE…
My aunt pick me as usual, but she was late for this time, every time she will waiting for me rather I waiting for her.. Hmm,, hahaha
My aunt treat me as usual, no different..
But things change, i mean
the way she treat me it seems so usual until I never really notice what she did for me..
First, I found myself is useless, irresponsible, no one love me or to say I am unworthy to be loved..
My aunt was like guiding me to study, ask me to help my the other aunt to look over her shop..
You know what..
My aunt even use childish trick to ask me to study…
Is just like, if you study I make you a juice!!
i mean, who will really lure into this kind trap… HUH!!!
Hahaha, but I did….!! How lousy I am…
Once, my aunt suddenly start about our family topic..
She stop this topic when she discover my eyes are wetting.
The time I was shower,
I cry hard and I found what is the thing I really care about before I leave Kuching at the time i was crying..
T.T
Conclusion :
I was touch because at least there is someone love me, when I am down..
Not by words, not by force but love with actions..
I did not really tell me aunt anything how I feel this journey but
Thanks for God give me a wonderful aunt.
————————–
will be continue..
If I remember la..
