I wish I could live in a happy family.
A family which is so much warm, caring and love.
But now, one of my dreams had brake, I can’t realize when my father change; he seems so different towards me or this family. Well, my daddy and I are not close but how I wish I could have a father which is very caring.
09.04.08 is my daddy and my mum divorce’s date, this day they sign on a sheet of paper, proof that they are already divorce but still conclude as, because need to go court again to swear. It sounds so funny.
11.04.2008 my daddy make decision to move out from this house. He chose to move back to old house. He chose to stay with girls who only know her for 4 months. 4 months relationship compared with 30++ marriage. It sounds so funny.
This morning my mum keep remind me that my daddy chose to live with a girl. Followed by many examples given my mum and continue compare between my daddy and other guy, my mum told me they choose to stay with their wife when husband realize they betray his own wife and she continued, but YOUR daddy is different, he choose to live with girl, and give up us (children). My mum keep on emphasize the word “YOUR”, “YOUR”, “YOUR” I hate the word YOUR.
I can’t stand with my feeling. It was so sad, my heart is bleeding. But no one knew that.
I was trying to be perfect in their eyes, I was trying to control my emotion, and I don’t want to show out my feelings in front of them. I was so stupid. On that time, I was totally blank. I don’t know how to continue my way. I feel that my life is so useless. I don’t know why, in my heart I got a feeling, feel that my daddy forsaken me. How embarrass if I share with my friends. How ashamed if I shared with my group leader. No one can help me.
I hate my life,
I hate so much,
It brings me tears, sadness
Everything negatives.
